decide whether he should switch from his “Arima is PNM”
war cry to “Arima gone Third Force”.
On the other side were Rampee (the “Panday till ah dead”
man) and Agatha (who they does call Gyatah, but not I), whose two
defining loves in politics are Gerald Yetming, the Chinese Warlord
and Woman Power in whichever party the women are.
The Flagsman was staying quiet in this one, sipping some good ole
Old Oak White rum and Coke (in spite of those ungrateful, neemakharam
people at Angostura. Hee! Hee! Hee!).
Rum was flowing like mambo and cuss was leggoing on all sides as
the National Confusion party came under the periscope.
Hear Rampee, who was both angry and inebriated: “This racial
PNM government want to kill Panday.
“Look how they put the man in jail and don’t want to
give him bail.
“They know that once the Silver Fox is around, Manning is
going to be in serious trouble for the General Election.
“And especially since Panday has Ramesh Maharaj, the baddest
fighter in the politics and Kamla Persad-Bissessar as Opposition
Leader.
“Not to mention Jack Warner, one of the toughest men to oppose
Manning and the PNM.
“They know that once Panday is there at the helm, the PNM,
with all its nepotism and squandermania and corruption and with
poor Black people, from Cocorite to Carenage, Laventille, and all
along the East-West Corridor, and Arima and Grande, Toco Manzanilla,
and La Brea and Point Fortin turning against them, it’s all
over for this government of deadbeats, incompetents and millstones.”
Well breds, Black Pat didn’t allow Rampee to go any further.
One time he lashed him with: “How you know Black people against
the PNM?
“I find you too farse and outa place.
“Allyuh Indian Confusion Party have nothing to offer them.
“All that you all have in that party is race.
“Is we, PNM, who controlling the Big Morney now.
“Money will flow like peas and all PNM are going to unite
under one, solid banner.
“Plenty Indian already coming into the PNM and more will come
because they know which side their bread will be buttered.
“And allyuh know how Indian like money more than anything?
“Ask a certain one they call De Portna.”
Ha! Ha! Ha!
And Rudevin chooked in: “Every Monday morning, the UNC has
a different seta bacchanal and confusion. You think any sensible
person would want to vote for this band of confusionists who only
fighting among themselves.
“Kamla taking basket that since Panday, from the jail, make
her Opposition Leader, she will be heading to be the first woman
prime minister of this country.
“But people calling the radio talk shows and saying how she
does be in high spirits all over the place.”
And he ended with his coup de grace: “Furthermore, Trevor
Sudama did say how her candidacy for the election some years was
vetted in the back seat of a car.
“I wonder if she get vetted this time for the Opposition Leader
wuk!”
Kyah! Kyah! Kyah!
Well, if ah tell you, Agatha really show them why they does call
she Gyatah.
She get real pisstoratic and didn’t hesitate to let Black
Pat and Rudevin have it left, right and centre.
In language that was liberally laced with most unlady-like expletives,
she gave them good: “Why allyuh men so?
“Kamla is a bright lawyer and politician.
“She was a better Minister of Education than this present
duncey-head one, Hazel “Madame Breakfasses” Manning.
“Why allyuh don’t talk about ‘Madame Breakfasses’,
who should wear a duncey cap and go back to school.
“The whole education system today in a mess and only producing
young criminals.
“Talk about Hazel, nah!
“Kamla has fortitude and strength to take the reins as the
first woman prime minister of this country.
“She ain’t like this one they call Winston Dookeran.
He is one big sorf man that he ‘fraid to make up his mind
as to what he’s doing.
“He’s blowing hot and cold all the time.
“The man is a real tanty man in the politics and he is hoping
to be my prime minister?” she asked, eyes opening wide in
disbelief.
“Blow way, Tanty, blow way!”
Heh! Heh! Heh!
Then she added this warning: “The only thing Kamla has to
watch out for is that Ramesh wants to take over the party’s
leadership.
“That twist-mouth man is devious and treacherous.
“And I hear those millstones like Hamza Rafeeq, Adesh “Paradiggim”
Nanan, Chandresh Sharma, the Blue Light Man, and a semi-literate
upstart on Radio Shakti, Sylvester Ramquar, the Butcher of English
Grammar and Syntax are supporting the Two Face, Twist Mouth man.
“And not forgetting that short-ass fart they call Harry Partap,
who is going to blight the Ramesh-Kamla camp for sure.”
Haar! Haar! Haar! Oh gard, oh gard, hold mih, hold mih!
“I thought Harry gone through long time now.
“What they resurrect him to do? Say the requiem mass?”
Well breds, is now cuss break out like fire all around, and when
things had calmed down, Rudevin turned to me and asked:
“So Flags, what you think about all this?”
To which the Flagsman hesitated before replying:
“Allyuh see this ole mas party they call the UNC?
“They deserve to be in the Cesspit of Politics, in the Shithouse
of History.
“And talking about Panday, who is responsible for all the
confusion, playing one against the other all the time, and not forgetting
his wife Oma, who has played a huge role in the mashing up of the
party with she fat, boobooloops, pushy, frontish self, he should
stay right there in jail and cause all the confusion he can from
right there.
“This miserable, cantankerous old man shouldn’t have
any worries about his family, outside because if Oma has any problems,
his good friend Lawrence Duprey would be right there to ‘lend
a helping hand’. Not so?”
Haw! Haw! Haw!
To my few fans and countless detractors, I say be of good cheer
in spite of the band of PNM and UNC Crapaud Politicians, and ’til
next week, stay up and …
Keep those flags flying! |
