Over the years I have learnt to expect and accept certain behaviour from whosoever made up the current crop of posing pretenders and mimic men so I am rarely surprised, but every now and then some of them go so far above and beyond even my cynical expectations that I need to stop and pay them homage.
From a strictly laugh out loud point of view this week did not disappoint, and I would like to offer a snapshot of what took place for your amusement.
Take Anand Ramlogan for example, the man credited with the fiasco that shall henceforth be known as ‘Silk-gate,’ who awarded the Chief Justice a title he could not use for a purpose no one could fathom and who almost caused a Judicial coronary because of it. Not content to go down in history as the man who misplaced a grand piano in plain sight, our erstwhile Attorney General insists on making a clown of himself at every chance that presents itself, and seeing an opportunity to do so made a list, checked it twice, and in the spirit of the Christmas season, decided who was naughty and who was nice.
Also on the issue of ‘Silk-gate’ is our own lovable loony-bird, former judge, current MP, future band leader and Minister of God alone knows what Herbert Volney, whose position on the award of silk to Kamla and Anand by, well, themselves, is that those who vex over the awarding to themselves by themselves are jealous and the UNC shouldn’t play with them any longer. Using his favourite sounding board on CNC3′s morning variety show, huggable Herb said besides the people who didn’t think Kamla deserved the award there were others who thought she did and that settled it (at least to him) and that seemed to be all that mattered on the issue. Questions of merit or performance in the profession do not arise in his mind, but then who can be sure what does and why?
Speaking of band leaders, Brian MacFarlane called a news conference to announce that he had not paid his membership dues to the National Carnival Band Leaders Association for at least two years and was astonished that he was kicked out because of it. Seeking to emulate his mentor by embracing the controversy, a visibly upset Brian decided that the storm in the teacup that was of his doing (and he walked with props to prove it) should be taken as an attack on his art or perhaps his hairstyle. As five-time winner of the ‘Only Band With Covered Breasts Award,’ MacFarlane called on the Minister of Arts, Multiculturalism and Hosay Winston ‘Gypsy’ Peters to intervene on what has to be an abuse on the part of the leadership of the association to have the bold-faced temerity to enforce anything like rules, and to possibly sponsor the outstanding back payments in exchange for a photo op.
In keeping with the Carnival theme and hoping to get himself recognised as if not a clown then a jester at the very least, Tertiary Education Minister Fazal Karim announced that T&T was going to promote the steel pan in India because apparently this is exactly what India was waiting for. Paving the way for further junkets to the homeland, Karim indicated that he would speak to Minister of Arts and Multiculturalism Winston Peters to have a steel band from T&T sent to India to promote the playing of the country’s national instrument there. In related news, spokespersons for Despers, Invaders and Phase Two all announced that they were changing their uniforms with immediate effect to orange jerseys.
Police Commissioner Dwayne Gibbs says he “will let the statistics speak for themselves” about his performance after almost 15 months on the job, despite the fact that the statistics are skewed by a state of emergency that lasted for the better part of the second half of last year. Citing fire statistics that prove that houses that are gutted by fire no longer have termites, the Commissioner seems to believe that roosters crowing cause the sun to rise in the morning.
Old people have a saying, “Thing to cry all yuh laughing,” but tell me, in this land of jokers, jesters and comic clowns, what choice do we really have?
Phillip Edward Alexander
